The State of The Island: Febuary 5th, 2011

This blog consists mainly of ordinary blog posts which are random and have no connection with each other. However, in recent weeks, a plot has emerged!

To help new readers, readers who haven't read in a while, or readers who are confused by all the goddamn fish, we have decided to start a weekly blog plot summary. While it will be written by different members of the island, this week's summary will be by Daisy:



 Hi!!! this weak on the iland was vary craizie. azlyn and the fish got mad at each other, and then the fishies pretendd to be azlyn's mommie and sad meen things.link if i wer aslyn i wud be rilly sad, but insted she promissed to destroy them.

So that's what happened this week on the Island. If you want to read a specific Islander's posts, please follow the links below.

Island Queen
Azlyn
Fish
Daisy
Genevieve
Diamond Giver
State of the Island

This Has Gone Too Far

I am in tears.

A Single, Solitary, Beautifully Tragic Tear

The fish have gone too far as to impersonate my mother, Azula. (In the comments section of that post I have explained why it was not my mother). She and Daddy are staying with me in my castle and she quickly assured me that she did not feel that way, however, the attack struck a nerve.

The women in my family have a slight tendency to snap, and now that the fish have not only turned their attack on me, but on my family, I will no longer hold back.

No longer will I pity you legless, scaly creatures, for this is war, and you shall be crushed.

When you rest your heads at night, I will be lurking in the dark shadows of your dreams, inflitrating your very being, and making your pathetic lives a true hell.

Azlyn Aeron

Some Thoughts Regarding Peace, War, and Seafood Banquets

This war is really getting out of hand. I mean, why can't there be peace!!! Fish belong in the water or on my plate (oops I shouldn't have said that second part but its too late) So why can't we be in peace? (However, I must admit, the war has allowed me to capture some great battle photos:)

I got hit by a couple fish in the process, but I ended up with this great photo and a delicious seafood dinner!

Oh fish... they are the reason that I went pescatarian. I'm just a bit upset right now, it seems Island Queen's chefs have had a bit - or maybe a lot - of difficulty preparing the seafood banquet, seeing as sea creatures have taken over 21/23 of the island that was bought with the giant diamond that I spent years looking for. I don't know what I'm going to do if they get their hands fins on that diamond!!!! I'm kinda worried that they might cut it up, and make it into something horrid like this:

I didn't spend all of that time selecting the diamond just for it to be turned into a piece of jelewry for a fish that should have been my dinner! I've had enough. I think I'm going to make some posters and go protest this fish rebellion. So maybe we should have peace. (I'd like to point out that most of the planet's surface is already water, so I don't understand why you fish need to bother our peaceful and lovely island. Now back to the water!) Oh, but it looks so sweet and innocent!!! 

- Diamo N. Dgiver (The Diamond Giver)

From AZULA to my daughter Azlyn Aeron

Azlyn, I regret to inform you that I am officially disowning you from my life and the Fire Nation Royal Family!!

You did not defend me when the evil black fish threaten to eat me AND you mention my unmentionable brother who took over the fire nation royal throne on what was to be the day of my coronation! 

Ergo, I am disowning you and I have arrived at this island to join forces with you enemy the black fish!! You miscalculated! You should've feared me more. There is no chance you will beat us! I am sneaky, resourceful, and have undergone therapy and rehab after I went slightly crazy on that dreadful day

And I will succeed at helping the blackfish take this island down from the inside out, just like I did with the earth kingdom when i staged my coop 

You say the black fish has only accomplished making enemies, but she has accomplished much more than that! As of today, she has secured permanent control over 21/23rds of the island: every part except your 1/23rd and the island queen's 1/23rd. She has burned the outskirts of her territory and planted salt in the soil so that no human can reconquer or settle her land!! she then flooded it so that 21/23rds of this island is now A GIANT LAKE FOR FANCY FISH TO FROLIC FREELY (alliteration hehe). more than half the inhabitants, some undercover and some as double agents, work for the black fish. And today she has added me as one of her allies!! She also had undercover fish agents planted in every body of water and fish reproduce MUCH faster than that little human army of yours. Her forces are already 7.43 times larger than yours! Your choice is clear. You can keep pretending that you have a chance, but everyone on this island knows which side will come out victorious. The black fish was the first evil villain on this island, and she will be the last!

~Azula

A Response to the Fish

I quite enjoyed the recent post directed at me. In fact, as I read it, I found myself smirking. I had hoped we could unite and resolve our problems together, but as that is no longer possible I must admit I have not been fully honest with you.

While I am a vegetarian, that simply means I won't eat meat such as pigs or cows. Incidentally, my favorite foods are caviar and sushi.

Why Yes, that IS a caviar dress!

While I would have preferred to work with you, I will not cling to old dreams. But before we part, I would like you to know one last thing: You have not won. 

Unless you consider making another enemy "winning", but all that you have achieved is that you now have the Islanders AND me against you. You attacked the islanders, and I threatened to conquer their island- let's be realistic, they won't be teaming up with any of us.

In short, this war has three sides now.

Although perhaps I could claim to have discovered that my true purpose in life is to join them- it worked for my uncle Zuko.

 

And which side will be ultimately be victorious? Leave no questioning doubt in your ridiculously small minds- it will be me. While you seem to be under the impression that I am all alone in this, you are wrong.

Very wrong.

Very, very wrong.

You might want to think about giving up while you have the chance. Orcs love caviar, too. 

Yes, I know you won't give up. Please spare me the empowering and uplifting speech. 

Until we meet in battle, 

Azlyn Aeron

A response to Azlyn Aeron

ohh Soooo....you think you and your fancy evolved body can just waltz right in here and taunt us with legs and vegetarianism! well you thought WRONG!!
Why would we need a vegetarian leader, when our plans included eating the diamond giver in some luscious BBQ sauce?
You think we can't read the special crossed our font, WRONG AGAIN!
We know you were planning on over throwing us! but I am always one step, or rather one fin, ahead.
I have planted double secret agent spy fish in every body of water on the island. Even in those two puddle at the end of your driveway

That's right!! WE are ALWAYS watching you! You are never safe from ussssssss

We have already taken over seven twenty-thirds of the island and are prepared to take over the rest with in the next 3 months, 7 days, 3191 minutes and 31.4 seconds! ...and we will attack you when you least expect it. We have undercover civilian human agents working for us so THERE IS NOWHERE ON THIS ISLAND WHERE YOU ARE SAFE!

The only question now is what sauce should we enjoy your mother Azula in: soy or ketchup? I was really thinking soy, but my second in command green fish is starting to convince me to go with ketchup. 

Centuries from now little children will read in their textbooks about the GREAT BLACK FISH WHO DESTROYED A WHOLE ISLAND AND then went on to rule the whole universe (except pluto, i see no reason to take over there, i mean comeon! it's just a reject wannabe planet and its sooo cold and purplish! goodness purple is such an UGLY color!)

on that note, we will get back at you for years of oppression and suffering on that small 400x200 pixel corner of the webpage! You can run, put there's nowhere to hide (except pluto)!
toodles,

Me in BUNNY FORM!

the BLACK FISH!!!