A Funny (Fail) Story

I turned 16 about a month ago, and, as everybody knows, being 16 comes with learning to drive! Before I used some of the leftover money from buying the island (there is SO little left...I don’t know where it all went….who would have thought a tiny little island would cost so very much?) to buy a car (I was debating between a Porsche and a Ferrari…thoughts?) I thought I might as well take the permit test.

Phew. That was a long sentence. Try reading it in one breath. I dare you.

Of course, I didn’t read the manual, because I am the Island Queen and such things are above me (also I had a lot of tests last week). But I showed up for the test anyway. For those of you who don’t know, it is a 25 question test, and you can only get 5 wrong.

Yeah.....Maybe I should have read this.....

Anyway, there I was, taking the test on a computer. Since I hadn’t exactly read past the first chapter of the manual, I wasn’t doing so great. To be exact, I’d already gotten 5 questions wrong, so I couldn’t get another one wrong or I’d fail the test.

I was on question 23 and feeling fairly confident about my chances of passing, since, after I’d gotten the hang of it, I found the questions easy. And I only had 2 questions left. The one I was on was asking what a sign, which I’ve pictured below, meant. I knew the answer was “pedestrian crossing”, so I was about to click that when I saw another answer was “shopping mall ahead.” I paused to think about how ridiculous that was, then clicked my answer and hit validate. At that point, the computer told me that I’d gotten the question wrong, and that I had failed the test. It was then that I realized that I’d pressed “shopping mall ahead” instead of  “pedestrian crossing.” Oops.

Although you could probably argue that they DO look like they're going to the mall.

                         

So I failed the test because I mis-clicked on my second-to-last question. But, make no mistake, I will be back next week, and then I will have a fantastic permit-earning story to tell you all!

Because I will be reading the manual this time around.

Love you all!

Island Queen 

Google is Rubbish. -Genevieve Millianette

Dear people,
My life here on the island is extremely busy, I could hardly call  it relaxing at all! I must awaken at ten every morning, it is a shock that I have enough energy to function! Then I must begrudgingly go to my daily facial treatment, manicure, pedicure and massage. It is truly a struggle, I must walk across my lawn to get from my facial treatment building to my personal nail salon! I intend on constructing a monorail from one building to the other. Nevertheless, my monorail would be classy, not the filth on tracks Walt Disney World has!

Just look at the debris!

You are all extremely fortunate that I can bestow upon you the very little free time I acquire during my days on the island. Thus, you can surely imagine how distraught I was upon noticing how little attention this blog has acquired from Google! I am shocked that a company as big as Google would not acknowledge the existence of a woman so influential on society! (Oh, and the island too.) How did I find this out, you ask? With my very little free time, I managed to google "Total Island Dominance" (keep in mind that this is the entire name of the blog) and we were not the first result! Or the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and accordingly. The suggested search was "Total Drama Island." This is the rubbish:

This is the reason an entire country is being ignored on Google. Well, once world peace arrives, this will change.

I hope that will more posts, I (I mean we) can spread knowledge about our country and alert people about the up-and-coming world peace. Soon, the words "Total" and "Island" will not be associated with the reason for child brain cell loss but with a thriving civilization! 

Also, my llama farm is doing well. The structure has been built and the llamas arrive on Sunday. Wish me luck, if I need it!

Kiss kiss,

Genevieve Millianette

Choosing which diamond to give the island queen was very difficult. I knew that she would only go to homecoming if I gave her an expensive enough diamond, so I had to search the world for the right one. This is the story of how I sought out the largest diamond in the world.


I heard that the largest diamond in the world was in Prussia, so I had to get on a plane and fly over there for a weekend. When I arrived, I found an old woman named Ethel tried to sell me this giant diamond. She requested $25 trillion and claimed it was a family heirloom. Humpf! When I brought it back to the US, I realized that it was made out of plastic. I had to sue Ethel to get the money back. This put me behind schedule, because Island Queen was expecting her diamond around that time, and was upset that I wasn't prompt with its delivery. Its actually Ethel's fault that world peace was delayed. There she is with the fake diamond...

So I was forced to continue my search. I saw the Hope Diamond in a Museum in Washington, DC, but after talking with the museum director we decided that the diamond wasn't nearly large enough for the island queen. Plus a lot of the people who had previously owned it had died (just to add a little sinister aspect to the story.) 

I researched everywhere, and the diamond in Washington seemed to be the largest I could find! There was only one other option; to go to a mine and find the world's largest diamond by myself. After visiting 34 countries, I finally went to Guatemala and found the PERFECT one in an underground mine. One of the miners tried to grab it from me, but I hid it in a plastic bag shopping bag after that and disguised it as my lunch. 

On the trip back it got all dirty, and I had to hire a large team to polish it 24 hours a day for 6 and half days. Time was running out, and of course the diamond had to look presentable before it was given to Island Queen. Finally, on a certain day in 2010 at a certain french bakery in a certain place on a certain continent, the diamond was given to Island Queen. Of course, I had to have special security forces follow me into the restaurant. Thus began world peace... Thats the story in short. I had to keep certain details secret of course, and if you're wondering, I can't post a picture of the diamond. Its too glorified to be photographed.

My story (in short) -Genevieve Millianette

A grand hello to my friends and readers (if you believe you are neither, you should not have free reign to access the internet,)

Since this is my first post, I see it fit to write a little about myself. My name is Genevieve Vertiline Constance Esther Millianette (but for the sake of those around me, I will merely go by Genevieve Millianette.) I was born in a country very far from my current residence (which right now is nameless... Island Queen!) and have a brother named Obediah. 

I lost both my parents at the young age of twelve. They left me with just barely enough money to live on (a mere 10000,00000000,000000,000000$... you would think they would leave more to their first born daughter!) Because of my homeland's great encouragement of primogeniture, my brother was left with nothing. He didn't deserve a cent anyway. He ran away at the age of ten, a mere two days after our parents died. He had been furious. Obediah spoke of wanting things with "sentimental value," which I still don't understand today.

I was left in the care of my aunt Hortense, a serious regret on my part since she always reeked of moldy cheese. Anyway, I met dear Island Queen in school at the age of 14. She spoke of owning her own island, and later, creating world peace. I of course decided to come along and now I have great power and influence on her island. I have a gorgeous mansion overlooking the ocean and I am currently building a llama farm (silly, I'm not literally building it, I have people for that!)

Kiss kiss,

Genevieve Millianette

Just a picture of my estate, if you were wondering.

What Should I call the Island?

I realized today that my island has no name. Which is an issue, since it is soon to become the capital and centre of the world. So there should be one.


Since I'm discussing the island, I might as well describe it. It's fairly large, and is located in the Caribbean. This is what it looks like:

Just kidding.


It looks more like this:

I live on the north side of the island. There, I have a large mansion, which is my individual home. Outside the extensive grounds of this property lies a neighboring house, where the family members I've chosen to invite live. Then, a few miles off, there is an even greater mansion, where I can invite my friends who are visiting on a temporary basis. This settlement of three mansions is located at the northernmost coast, with my own home being the prime waterfront property of the three. Near this beach is a dock where permanent island residents can keep boats. Then, on the Northwest and Northeastern coasts are the waterfront properties of my bestest friends (those who live permanently on the island with me). There are a little over 10 of these properties on the north side of the island.
This is a photograph of a momentarily vacant mansion, neighboring my dear friend Gen (that's Noblewoman Genevieve Millianette to you!):

The southern half of the island is the centre of the social life. To the east, there is a town, full of restaurants and shops. Just north of this town is another, where those who work in the town live in fairly large homes and enjoy proximity to a Caribbean beach. The southwestern half of the island is devoted to an elite hotel and visitation centre. Here, people can come visit the island that will soon be the centre of the world for a (debatably) low price. The more elite housing plans also offer limited access to the island's main town centre, but, of course, there is a smaller town in the hotel and resort as well (the employees of both towns live in the same area).


So that is my island in a nutshell.
But it still doesn't have a name. I was thinking either something that glorifies its position and truly establishes it as a prominent geographical location (it is, after all, the soon-to-be centre of the world!) Something like "The Centre of the World" or "The Awesome Place". Or we could use a more subtle name, such as "Diamond Island."
But I've decided to it go to a vote on this one (just to prove that I'm not-and won't be-an evil dictator)
What should I call the island?


Much love,
Island Queen

Total Island Dominance

Total Island Dominance, the name of our blog, comes from an island that we bought in the Caribbean in late 2010. This island was purchased with a diamond that was given to one member of the group by another in an effort to make her go to the homecoming dance (which she never went to anyway). Now that we own this island, it is only a matter of time before we control the world and bring about world peace.