Fitz as a Prefix

Genevieve:

Those of you who have been tossing and turning in your beds, worrying about my condition should be relieved to know that I have found shelter. While trekking through a field of wheat (in my tan llama skin coat, of course! I need to blend in) I came across an extremely dark, menacing-looking castle. You could imagine my extreme confusion, seeing a stone mass covered in gargoyles in the middle of a wheat field. Not to mention it had inexplicable clouds and lightening striking the tallest tower every few seconds.

Naturally, I went in through the conveniently ajar door. The inhabitant of this mansion obviously liked bread, and golly, I missed crust less cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches.

The castle’s owner was Azlyn, the daughter of Azula, famous for her demented lightening powers and even more demented scene of insanity which concluded her screen time on “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Having seen the show and mentioned my Zutara opinions in past blog posts, I was surprised to meet her on Diamond island (not starstruck, of course, that only happens when I look in the mirror!)

Azlyn: When I noticed that my visitor was none other than Genevieve Millianette, of course I invited her in. I had been yearning for high class company for weeks! I had the servant set up my nicest guest room for her stay.

Third nicest, actually, the others are being redecorated.

Genevieve: Our perspectives on life somewhat contrast, her desiring island domination and being generally evil. However, we both got along quickly because of our high level of class and love of Bumblebee Bat cashmere (which most cannot imagine, let alone afford, did I mention llama cashmere is 100,000,0000000000$ per square inch?)

Azlyn: How can you see this picture and not think "cardigan"?

Azlyn: However, Genevieve has an unfortunate tendency to choose very cheerful colors, while I prefer black and dark shades of blue and red. In any case, our mutual good taste is something I am very grateful for.

Genevieve: During lunch this morning, Azlyn was telling me about a novel she was reading titled “Pride and Prejudice.” I did not have much to say, since I stopped reading the novel when Mr.Darcy was introduced (he was such a surly reeling-ripe flax wrench, the dankish hedge-born apple john!) Needless to say I had a perfectly good reason.

Azlyn: I find the novel rather fascinating despite my hatred of both romance and popular books. However, I made an interesting observation that will be detailed below.

Genevieve: Nevertheless, she told me that Mr.Darcy’s first name was Fitzwilliam. Now, Fitzwilliam may be a mewling dizzy-eyed hedge pig, but he did have class. He had a class that Azlyn and I did not possess, so we needed to discover how he gained it.

Azlyn: I personally disagree with that analysis. My insurmountable measures of class are demonstrated by every black marble stone in my palace.

Genevieve: At first we came to the conclusion that in order to have class you need two names (I, of course, have four excluding my last name, which means I officially outdid Fitzwilliam in class.)

Azlyn: But after exploring this possibility, it was noted that BillyBobJoe would also have to be considered “classy”, and thus the theorem crumbled and we were forced to explore other options. That is when we noticed it. What is Fitzwilliam without “Fitz”? Merely "William”, a rather common name.

Genevieve: We realized that the “Fitz” prefix on Mr.Darcy’s name is what made him truly classy. Thus, I officially dub myself:

Fitz Lady Genevieve Vertiline Constance Esther Rowena Millianette

Azlyn: And I shall consider the addition of Fitz to my name, so that it would read: Fitz Azlyn Aeron.  

Although someday, it will Queen Czarina Empress Sultaness Cheiftess Fitz Azlyn Aeron, the Almighty and Magnificent Ruler of the Universe.

Genevieve: Concluding, I thank you, Azlyn, for opening my eyes to a new degree of class that I humbly admit I did not have before.

Awesome insults credits to Shakespeare: http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?

Azlyn: Indeed, Genevieve, I accept your gratitude and hope you will stay at my castle as long as you choose.

Dear People,

I apologize for not writing in a while. However, I believe I have a valid reason for not doing so. The fish, in an effort to destroy our amazing island, are burning every building their little not-land-accustomed fins can get them to. My stately manor, unfortunately, was a victim. Fortunately I was able to escape with some of my wealth (a mere 100,000,0000,0000$) because I saw them slowly coming over the hill behind my home. Just imagine over 100,000 fish sliding towards your home with torches, it was terrifying! 

You don't have to imagine: here's the horror.

Thus, I disguised myself as a common peasant and fled. I'm trying to make my way to the queen's palace, where I am sure there's a room I can stay in until we defeat the fish army. Sadly, her palace is on the other side of the island.

Her palace is the castle is at the second squiggle to the right.

I know you may be asking, "How is Genevieve, no matter how perfect she is, managing to write a blog post while on the run?" Well I have an answer for you: my ePid. It's the most amazing device! It cannot only play music but can access the internet! Brilliant!

Mine is purple, a color not available to the public because I'm just special like that.

Perhaps my journey across the island will make my blog posts more exciting (I don't really like this pattern: the more I suffer among the common folk, the more people enjoy my posts!) It's a tragedy, yet maybe I'll learn something from this experience. Who am I kidding? I'm perfect, I have nothing to learn!

Kiss kiss,

Genevieve Millianette

Overly-Analytical Rants/LET THEM EAT CAKE!- Genevieve Millianette

Dear people,

I am in a predicament. During the Queen and I's lunch, we had an idea for a possible blog entry. Laughter and excitement for my next entry crosses my mind when thinking about said subject, however I cannot seem to remember what the blog entry would have been about. Thus, I will write about two elements of my (always luxurious) day that this blog entry could have applied to.

Possible Blog Entry 1: New York, New York.

Upon the Queen and I's biweekly game of badminton, we discovered the most brilliant of things. We invented a victory dance while humming the tune of "New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra. The dance is not only fun and exceeds our bragging rights, but it can be used to distract the our opponents. I was just pondering this concept when I thought of a brilliant plan: we use this tactic with our country's military! The enemies would be completely blindsided! A well-choriographed dance number in the middle of battle, imagine the shock!

 Of course, we do not currently have a military, however there may come a time when we will have enough resources that other countries will want to invade (for now we're fully funded by awesome and the diamond, but when my llama farm is complete, imagine the possibilities for exports!) Which brings me to another idea I just conjured: our economy. We should make it mercantilist, since we should focus solely on our economy's power and supply of awesome (please, it's the rest of the world's fault they're barely surviving this "Global Recession," they should solve their own problems! LET THEM EAT CAKE!) Plus, it gives you, queen, and I (the extremely influential noblewoman) power over our country's economic proceedings! Now I am left to wonder: how did I get from a simple game of badminton to the global economic crisis?

Posible Blog Entry 2: Kataang, Zutara... & other nerd ships.

This topic came up during the queen, I, and other friends' (who may or may not appear on this blog in the future) discussions during lunch. I figured that I would share my opinion (since as a noblewoman, it matters very much.) I took a more logic approach to the ships, however much can be debated about actual character:

We all know that in life, there is no defined "good" and "evil." Everything is a shade of grey, never black and white. We all have a little light and dark inside of us (which, of course, I took from what Sirius said to Harry in Order of the Phoenix and what Slughorn said to Harry in Half Blood Prince) However, in something as simple as a children's show, those lines should be clearly defined. If a superhero was saving people from a burning building one minute and stealing a pack of gum from CVS the next, what message does that send to children? The superhero, of course, would be the child's "role-model," whether it be for just watching that episode or through all of their childhood. Children are like sponges, they suck up everything they see and hear. If someone clearly defined to them as "good" did something "bad," the children may assume it is ok, correct?

Now let me apply this to Avatar the Last Airbender, and Harry Potter, because behind my classy lifestyle I am in fact a nerd. If Katara, defined to children as a "good" character, dated Zuko, a "bad" character, what would that mean? It doesn't matter if he becomes good later in the series, the bottom line is that he is defined as a "bad" character and Katara would be associating herself with something from the "dark side." Same thing in Harry Potter, why would anyone ship Hermione/ Draco? It is the same case. 

I am left with one question: Why is Hermione ginger?
Google has scarred me in so many ways.

Children may see these actions as "oh, ok, if Katara can love a boy who (indirectly) killed her mother and began a century-long war involving the massacre of an entire civilization, it is perfectly fine if I become friends with that guy in the green van."Concluding, I generally am for the romances that occur in these series because they plainly make sense. I bet J.K. Rowling and the people who made Avatar spent weeks trying to figure out how it all was going to end, from the plot and audiences' reaction. If these people have the capability to create something so good that people are willing to write two long paragraphs about it, should they not have the capability to take the right decision when it comes to who ends up with whom?

I'm not entirely sure if I wrote about what we talked about during lunch, Island Queen, but each of these segments transformed into overly-analytical rants.

Kiss kiss,

Genevieve Millianette

Google is Rubbish. -Genevieve Millianette

Dear people,
My life here on the island is extremely busy, I could hardly call  it relaxing at all! I must awaken at ten every morning, it is a shock that I have enough energy to function! Then I must begrudgingly go to my daily facial treatment, manicure, pedicure and massage. It is truly a struggle, I must walk across my lawn to get from my facial treatment building to my personal nail salon! I intend on constructing a monorail from one building to the other. Nevertheless, my monorail would be classy, not the filth on tracks Walt Disney World has!

Just look at the debris!

You are all extremely fortunate that I can bestow upon you the very little free time I acquire during my days on the island. Thus, you can surely imagine how distraught I was upon noticing how little attention this blog has acquired from Google! I am shocked that a company as big as Google would not acknowledge the existence of a woman so influential on society! (Oh, and the island too.) How did I find this out, you ask? With my very little free time, I managed to google "Total Island Dominance" (keep in mind that this is the entire name of the blog) and we were not the first result! Or the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and accordingly. The suggested search was "Total Drama Island." This is the rubbish:

This is the reason an entire country is being ignored on Google. Well, once world peace arrives, this will change.

I hope that will more posts, I (I mean we) can spread knowledge about our country and alert people about the up-and-coming world peace. Soon, the words "Total" and "Island" will not be associated with the reason for child brain cell loss but with a thriving civilization! 

Also, my llama farm is doing well. The structure has been built and the llamas arrive on Sunday. Wish me luck, if I need it!

Kiss kiss,

Genevieve Millianette

My story (in short) -Genevieve Millianette

A grand hello to my friends and readers (if you believe you are neither, you should not have free reign to access the internet,)

Since this is my first post, I see it fit to write a little about myself. My name is Genevieve Vertiline Constance Esther Millianette (but for the sake of those around me, I will merely go by Genevieve Millianette.) I was born in a country very far from my current residence (which right now is nameless... Island Queen!) and have a brother named Obediah. 

I lost both my parents at the young age of twelve. They left me with just barely enough money to live on (a mere 10000,00000000,000000,000000$... you would think they would leave more to their first born daughter!) Because of my homeland's great encouragement of primogeniture, my brother was left with nothing. He didn't deserve a cent anyway. He ran away at the age of ten, a mere two days after our parents died. He had been furious. Obediah spoke of wanting things with "sentimental value," which I still don't understand today.

I was left in the care of my aunt Hortense, a serious regret on my part since she always reeked of moldy cheese. Anyway, I met dear Island Queen in school at the age of 14. She spoke of owning her own island, and later, creating world peace. I of course decided to come along and now I have great power and influence on her island. I have a gorgeous mansion overlooking the ocean and I am currently building a llama farm (silly, I'm not literally building it, I have people for that!)

Kiss kiss,

Genevieve Millianette

Just a picture of my estate, if you were wondering.