Fitz as a Prefix

Genevieve:

Those of you who have been tossing and turning in your beds, worrying about my condition should be relieved to know that I have found shelter. While trekking through a field of wheat (in my tan llama skin coat, of course! I need to blend in) I came across an extremely dark, menacing-looking castle. You could imagine my extreme confusion, seeing a stone mass covered in gargoyles in the middle of a wheat field. Not to mention it had inexplicable clouds and lightening striking the tallest tower every few seconds.

Naturally, I went in through the conveniently ajar door. The inhabitant of this mansion obviously liked bread, and golly, I missed crust less cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches.

The castle’s owner was Azlyn, the daughter of Azula, famous for her demented lightening powers and even more demented scene of insanity which concluded her screen time on “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Having seen the show and mentioned my Zutara opinions in past blog posts, I was surprised to meet her on Diamond island (not starstruck, of course, that only happens when I look in the mirror!)

Azlyn: When I noticed that my visitor was none other than Genevieve Millianette, of course I invited her in. I had been yearning for high class company for weeks! I had the servant set up my nicest guest room for her stay.

Third nicest, actually, the others are being redecorated.

Genevieve: Our perspectives on life somewhat contrast, her desiring island domination and being generally evil. However, we both got along quickly because of our high level of class and love of Bumblebee Bat cashmere (which most cannot imagine, let alone afford, did I mention llama cashmere is 100,000,0000000000$ per square inch?)

Azlyn: How can you see this picture and not think "cardigan"?

Azlyn: However, Genevieve has an unfortunate tendency to choose very cheerful colors, while I prefer black and dark shades of blue and red. In any case, our mutual good taste is something I am very grateful for.

Genevieve: During lunch this morning, Azlyn was telling me about a novel she was reading titled “Pride and Prejudice.” I did not have much to say, since I stopped reading the novel when Mr.Darcy was introduced (he was such a surly reeling-ripe flax wrench, the dankish hedge-born apple john!) Needless to say I had a perfectly good reason.

Azlyn: I find the novel rather fascinating despite my hatred of both romance and popular books. However, I made an interesting observation that will be detailed below.

Genevieve: Nevertheless, she told me that Mr.Darcy’s first name was Fitzwilliam. Now, Fitzwilliam may be a mewling dizzy-eyed hedge pig, but he did have class. He had a class that Azlyn and I did not possess, so we needed to discover how he gained it.

Azlyn: I personally disagree with that analysis. My insurmountable measures of class are demonstrated by every black marble stone in my palace.

Genevieve: At first we came to the conclusion that in order to have class you need two names (I, of course, have four excluding my last name, which means I officially outdid Fitzwilliam in class.)

Azlyn: But after exploring this possibility, it was noted that BillyBobJoe would also have to be considered “classy”, and thus the theorem crumbled and we were forced to explore other options. That is when we noticed it. What is Fitzwilliam without “Fitz”? Merely "William”, a rather common name.

Genevieve: We realized that the “Fitz” prefix on Mr.Darcy’s name is what made him truly classy. Thus, I officially dub myself:

Fitz Lady Genevieve Vertiline Constance Esther Rowena Millianette

Azlyn: And I shall consider the addition of Fitz to my name, so that it would read: Fitz Azlyn Aeron.  

Although someday, it will Queen Czarina Empress Sultaness Cheiftess Fitz Azlyn Aeron, the Almighty and Magnificent Ruler of the Universe.

Genevieve: Concluding, I thank you, Azlyn, for opening my eyes to a new degree of class that I humbly admit I did not have before.

Awesome insults credits to Shakespeare: http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?

Azlyn: Indeed, Genevieve, I accept your gratitude and hope you will stay at my castle as long as you choose.