New Safety Measures

Dearest Citizens,

Those of you who have been around these past few weeks (or read the weekly State of the Island update) will know that our lovely island is under attack from a band of unruly fish. Already they have attacked my dearest friend Genevieve Millianette, and impersonated people to make their band seem larger.
Now, to avoid the same fate as our favorite Noblewoman, I recommend that all of you citizens of Diamond Island follow these simple safety procedures. 


1. Create a salt circle around your house each night. 
This simple circle will protect your family from being attacked at night, as Genevieve Millianette was. Do this before nightfall, as the fish strike quickly. Interaction with the salt will dry the fish out quickly. (for more information on fish night strikes, read this.) 

No, this has nothing to do with Saftey Tip 1. But it is much cuter than a dried fish. 

2. Refrain from going to the beach for recreation

The fish's main base is, obviously, the water. Avoid swimming in the sea (just use your swimming pools, people. Every house on the island has one!). In fact, it would be best to avoid the beach entirely. The island offers a wide variety of recreation. Go to town or something. 

Clearly, shopping is much more fun than THIS. 

3. Ignore propaganda posted here from the fish

The fish have managed to infiltrate our blog. Do not, under any circumstances, take anything posted by them to be the truth. This week, they impersonated Azula in a message to Azlyn Aeron. Fortunately, Azlyn saw right through their despicable plot, and she joined forces with us to destroy the hateful fish. 

If the fish post anything more on this blog, wait until confirmation from an islander appears, either in the comments or in another post, before acting. 

Your wait will probably not be as desolate as this. 

4. Act

There are many ways you can help in this war to defeat the fish. Develop an interest in seafood. Suddenly have a passion for fishing. Make friends with refugees who have lost their homes in fish attacks. The ways are endless. 

Yum?

5. Constant Vigilance!

One of the most frightening aspects of these fish attacks is that we do not know who they are. We suspect that the person behind these attacks is one of our very own group of islanders, because who else has access to our blog? Therefore, be careful. Be a fish detective!

 

Though this image does not seem to provide much of an incentive to be like this guy. 

So, fellow islanders, we have dark times ahead of us before we can finally establish our island as a beacon of hope and world peace for the rest of the world. Be careful, follow these safety tips, and join us in the attack!


Love, 
Island Queen